Friday, February 24, 2012

In All Fairness, We Were Warned.

Hello friends, and Happy Friday to you all!
Whew! This has been a LONG week! So glad to be home and relaxing on my couch.

As most of you have seen, we just got some more updated pictures of our Baby Jae-Min. He looks as precious as ever. And, his first year check-up was passed with flying colors!! He is happy it seems, and very healthy.
That news put a smile on our faces this week.

But, I also experienced a first this week that didn't make me smile. And, in all fairness, we were warned this would happen...
For the first time, I had someone make a comment about adoption that really just rubbed me the wrong way.
I, along with many other AP and birth parents, are here to say the following are unacceptable when questioning someone about the adoption of their child:

1) How much did he cost?
Well, HE didn't cost anything, his adoption did. And, that is completely rude. In the words of my friend who has a son adopted from Korea..."This question gets NO response from me." Let's say you just had a C-section and came home from the hospital. I walked in and said, "So, how much did she cost?" Really?

2) Where did he come from? 
He came from God, like all children. He came from the love Travis and I have for each other. He was ADOPTED from Korea, South Africa or etc. I understand this one may make people say, hmmm, I think that's an innocent question. But, if my son was standing beside me, and someone asked me this question...well I think both of our hearts would hurt. Adopted children just want to be from Kentucky, or anywhere else they call home. They don't want to be reminded all the time that they were born somewhere else that to them isn't home.

This are just two I have encountered lately. I am certain I have many more ludicrous comments coming my way. In general, I want to believe that most people are kind at heart, and have your best interests in mind. And, yes, most people are just curious. But, damn, sometimes curiosity does kill the cat. And, rudeness will get you no where.

Luckily, for Travis and I, but mostly for Baby J, we are surrounded by good people. As a matter of fact, just this week, we received several Lifebook letters in the mail for Jae. Letters from his Uncle Adam and Aunt Linds, Uncle Todd and Aunt Danni. And Cousin Brody sent him a sweet handprint picture. (So, sweet.) We also got letters from Gammy Mary and Papaw Tim. Gma and Gpa Zopfi's are on their way.

And, I read these letters, and my heart swells. The love that is and will surround our baby one day will make his world a better place.

Here is a small excerpt from my brother and sister-in-laws' letter that turned on the sprinklers in my eyes:

"We are counting down the days until we can finally meet you, hug you, play with you, spoil you, and laugh with you until our bellies hurt! There are so many great memories that we cannot wait to create with you!."

Such power in love.

For the very few negative comments I hear about our adoption, there are a hundred comments that are music to my ears, and more importantly, to my soul.

Travis and I know who loves us, and what matters in our lives. And, we know what doesn't. We will make sure Baby J does too.

Have a fantastic weekend and much love,


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