Thursday, July 12th will forever be a special day for us, for my little family of three.
At 1:03 p.m. my email beeped on my phone, and tears flowed from my eyes as I read: "EP Submitted July 12!"
Holden now has his exit permit to leave S. Korea in the Korean government's hands. Soon, they will approve this permit. Then, they will issue a visa physical, and travel certificate. Finally, our son will come home.
Oh, how easy that last paragraph sounds. Easy as 1, 2, 3, right?!?! Well, sure, it seems that way. But, you know all too well the heartache, the stress and the down right shitty moments we've had to go through.
Tonight, we opened up the big book of adoption (a bright pink file we keep our mounds of paper work in). I was looking for the I-600 form that holds our approved fingerprints by Homeland Security. But, I ended up reading through much of the information in that folder. Some of which, I hadn't looked at in nearly 2 years.
I found my original typed list of questions about International and Domestic Adoption. As I read through my list, I felt so far removed from where we started. I had highlighted questions about S. Korea and Ethiopia adoptions, but most of my list was about Domestic adoption. And now, I couldn't imagine doing that. I couldn't imagine our story, Holden's story being told any other way.
I also found the letters our friends wrote for us in the beginning. Travis and I each had to ask 3 people to write letters explaining why they thought we would make good parents. As I read through mine, I cried. I mean I got ugly!! To read first-hand what people think of your character, personality and heart and how it would all make you a wonderful parent is very emotional. I plan to keep those letters forever. For one, because our dear friends took the time to write them. But, also for when Holden's is mouthing off to me 14 years from now, telling me I'm not fair...and I'm "not being a good mother." Cause let's face it, I pulled that on my Mom too. Even when she was being a GREAT mother. I'll use those letters as a pick-me-up!
I also found what I was looking for. We need to re-new our fingerprints before traveling to get our babe.
So, it is with eager hearts we wait to have our EP approved and issued a travel certificate. We pray that things will NOT change again for the worse, and Holden will be home by Thanksgiving at the very latest.
I keep imagining what that moment will be like when I finally meet my son. Now, it is easier to imagine. I know he most likely will look smaller and more tiny that I imagined. He will also probably have a strong attachment to his foster mother. And, I know that will be hard to witness at first. I'm scared to death to rip him away from her, and the love and care she has shown him for the last year. But, I know how much love I have for him. I know how much Travis is eager to teach him.
No doubt, it will be one of the most emotional weeks in our lives. But, those moments are what makes our lives. Absolutely, no doubt about it.