I've really enjoyed this weekend. At first, I thought it might not be a great one. Travis has worked the entire weekend, and it has been cold and rainy.
But, it turned out to be a pretty awesome one. A "friend" I met on Facebook brought her son home from Korea last week. And, he is around 21 months old. She has been kind enough to keep me abreast of what it's like to bring home a toddler, not a baby.
I have really loved watching the videos she posts, and the pictures she shares. Her son seems to simply "fit" in her family seamlessly. One of my favorite videos is of her son learning his first English word. I love the way he said it, then looked at his Momma for reassurance. And, she affirmed it for him. Other than not really wanting to sleep at night, she said the transition has been wonderful.
I pray Holden's as well as our transitions are as painless as possible.
There is so much to look forward to this week as well!
Travis is turning 32 on Friday! And, my Mom is turning 57 on Saturday!
My secret wish is that we will get updated pictures of Holden before Thurs., so I can frame one and give it to my Mom when I see her. Hard to imagine that little Holdy-Jae will be 15 months old next month!! Ahh. My heart aches just typing that. We need him home. He needs us.
Our first baby shower is less than a month away too!!
One last thing...
If you dont mind, I'd like to ask each of you to say a special prayer. That, we might get a call sooner than later to come pick up our son. That we might have him home by Christmas. This is the prayer and wish of each member in our family. Thank you.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
On this cool, spring evening I am feeling reflective.
Last week was a rough week for me. I was feeling slightly overwhelmed with Holden's latest medical check information, all the sweet videos we got, and the news that Holden's foster mother has taken on another baby to care for. So, Holden now has a baby foster sister, two teenagers and two foster parents in his life.
Isn't this great, you might ask. YES! I am very happy that so many people are surrounding my son with attention and love. But, we just felt left in the dark. The other baby has been with them for some time, and the only reason we found out, was because we saw her on the picnic blanket in one of the videos.
We expect Holden will already have a challenging time transitioning from his foster family to us, but now, he will miss the company of another babe. For most parents, this is not a common experience, and it is probably hard to understand.
But, when Holden comes home, his life with DRASTICALLY change. We will not co-sleep with him forever (which is how 90 percent of foster mom's sleep with their foster children). He most likely will be on a bottle until he is 18 months old. He may have never seen the likes of a crib, much less his "own" room. Not to mention, Travis and I look nothing like Koreans, and that alone is enough to scare him to death.
So, as parents, we stress. And, it is a valid, real, tangible stress. I've been rubbed the wrong way a little with people telling me "not to worry" Because these stress points are not about me really, they are about my son. And despite what people who have never adopted want to think...it doesn't make us strange, depressed or in need of medication. (haha)
It makes us in need of kindness. It makes us in need of a shoulder to cry on sometimes. And, it makes us in need of really genuine friends.
And, so this weekend, I hope to remind myself of what really matters. My brother (a friend, too) is coming up to spend Saturday night with me. It's our Annual Sibling Weekend. I make him do it each year. :) But, I secretly think he enjoys spending time with his big sis.
Then, on Sunday, my parents are coming up for Easter. And, I will give them a copy of all the new videos of their precious grandson.
That's what really matters, isn't it? It is not the low points in your day. Or the people who try to bring you down for no reason other than jealously or ignorance. It is not about what others think of our reactions to our son. It is about us. It is about a little boy that belongs to us.
It is about his dark chocolate brown eyes, and his wet, slobbery, perfect lips. It is about his tiny voice, and his mischievous smile. It is about his well-being. It is about our unwavering, intense and indescribable love for him. It is about his Heart and his Soul. It is about us and our new family.
Make this weekend count friends. I know I will.