On this cool, spring evening I am feeling reflective.
Last week was a rough week for me. I was feeling slightly overwhelmed with Holden's latest medical check information, all the sweet videos we got, and the news that Holden's foster mother has taken on another baby to care for. So, Holden now has a baby foster sister, two teenagers and two foster parents in his life.
Isn't this great, you might ask. YES! I am very happy that so many people are surrounding my son with attention and love. But, we just felt left in the dark. The other baby has been with them for some time, and the only reason we found out, was because we saw her on the picnic blanket in one of the videos.
We expect Holden will already have a challenging time transitioning from his foster family to us, but now, he will miss the company of another babe. For most parents, this is not a common experience, and it is probably hard to understand.
But, when Holden comes home, his life with DRASTICALLY change. We will not co-sleep with him forever (which is how 90 percent of foster mom's sleep with their foster children). He most likely will be on a bottle until he is 18 months old. He may have never seen the likes of a crib, much less his "own" room. Not to mention, Travis and I look nothing like Koreans, and that alone is enough to scare him to death.
So, as parents, we stress. And, it is a valid, real, tangible stress. I've been rubbed the wrong way a little with people telling me "not to worry" Because these stress points are not about me really, they are about my son. And despite what people who have never adopted want to think...it doesn't make us strange, depressed or in need of medication. (haha)
It makes us in need of kindness. It makes us in need of a shoulder to cry on sometimes. And, it makes us in need of really genuine friends.
And, so this weekend, I hope to remind myself of what really matters. My brother (a friend, too) is coming up to spend Saturday night with me. It's our Annual Sibling Weekend. I make him do it each year. :) But, I secretly think he enjoys spending time with his big sis.
Then, on Sunday, my parents are coming up for Easter. And, I will give them a copy of all the new videos of their precious grandson.
That's what really matters, isn't it? It is not the low points in your day. Or the people who try to bring you down for no reason other than jealously or ignorance. It is not about what others think of our reactions to our son. It is about us. It is about a little boy that belongs to us.
It is about his dark chocolate brown eyes, and his wet, slobbery, perfect lips. It is about his tiny voice, and his mischievous smile. It is about his well-being. It is about our unwavering, intense and indescribable love for him. It is about his Heart and his Soul. It is about us and our new family.
Make this weekend count friends. I know I will.