Friday, January 4, 2013

Can't believe it's almost over!!!

In just over 2 weeks, Holden and I will re-enter the "real" world.
I will go back to work, and he will start preschool!

This means, he has been home for just over 6 weeks! I often look at him and wonder, "hasn't he been with me forever?"

Holden is growing and changing so much. He has several English words he uses now including:
-Uh oh
-night night

He is really into mimicking what we do right now. If we take a deep breath, so does he. If we yawn, he does too! It is pretty hilarious. He is also a tremendous FLIRT! He prefers old men and young girls! HAHA!

And, now here comes my "mommy" moment.

While I am thrilled for him to start school, I worry. I have a very protective nature toward him for many reasons. Because I am his mother, I want to hold him close and protect him always. It will be so hard for me to drop him off for 9 hours a day since we've been spending nearly every minute of every day as a couple.

As promised to myself in my New Year's resolution, I'm looking at this positively though. I think school will help him mature a little. He will gain patience, social exploration and a sense of self. But, I still hope he misses his Umma, cause I am going to miss him more than I can explain.

You know, everyone told me I would forget how long the wait was for him to come home was. People said, it would be a distant memory. But, all along I knew I would never forget.

I still think back to 2 months ago all the time. And, I remember how much it hurt to think about him, cause we didn't know when we would get the call that he would be joining his forever family.

I had bad dreams nearly every night leading up to that call. I lost 10 pounds, and had headaches all the time.

Then the call came, and he was home.

Sure, we are dealing with a new set of challenges now. Toddler fits, bedtime woes and busy, busy boy stuff!!

But, I won't ever forget how hard it was to wait for him. I can't ever forget that sense of longing and love. The pain was overwhelming. However, as a result, my soul already had a place for Holden.

Almost like a tiny, soft net laced into my heart, just waiting for him to rest there. Now my heart feels full. Sometimes, I'm sure I feel it swelling with love. It is so exciting, and breathtaking. It does make me wonder if Holden really was made just for us.

And, I wonder, does every parent feel this lucky? I will never take this blessing for granted. EVERY bit of it was worth it.



  1. Why bother adopting a kid if you're just gonna dump him in daycare the first chance you get??

  2. It's called work jerk. I'm a working mother. Get off our blog.