Holden Jae-Min Hubbard's Homecoming will be sometime between the last week of Sept. and mid-Nov.
And that, makes us want to SCREAM! On one hand, we want to scream "Yay, yay, yay! Our SON could be flying home in less than 2 weeks!"
On the other hand, we want to scream, "Why, why, oh why can't you give us a more exact date!!!!???!!"
We are on the final leg of this tour de adoption, and our emotions are in major limbo. I feel like I am going to lose my grits on our adoption agency if they don't start coming through with some more finalized answers. However, I might as well just calm down (or at least try) because that is not going to happen.
Our adoption agency most likely doesn't exactly know when our son will travel home, until they know.
So, we keep going through the official list of "This I Know For Sure."
1) Holden's paperwork is all up-to-date. When the call comes, we are good as gold.
2) Holden had his Visa Physical before many children in his travel group. ( Not sure if this really matters, but I like to hope in some way it does.)
3) We believe Holden's foster mother has completed her end of the deal based on the information we have been given. She has to fill out paper work too.
So, I guess for the next several weeks, I'll wake up hopeful, and linger on that hope all day. And, when the clock strikes 7 p.m. (4 p.m. where our agency is located), I'll know "the call" wasn't coming on that day.
I'll wallow in limbo, back and forth, back and forth...ready to be a Mom to, shit! I hope I can do this right.
But, when I come home that night, I'll recharge my heart.
I'll come to home to my very best friend in the whole entire world. And, we'll cuddle on the couch, and daydream about our boy. We'll remember our old memories together that we've spent 11 years creating. And, I'll hope that those memories will continue.
Then Travis will tell me I'm just a worrier, and that I'm going to be the best Mom he's ever known. And, that I'll always be his girl.
How someday soon, Holden will be part of that love too.
And, that it will all be alright. Sometimes, that is what you need to hear. And, believe.